Originally published on genealogyatheart.blogspot.com on 3 Jul 2016.<\/p>\n
\u201cMemory has become a sacred duty of all people of goodwill.\u201d Elie Weisel<\/span><\/p>\n That led us to a local city owned cemetery. \u00a0On the way there the song, Stairway to Heaven, played on the radio. \u00a0Had to snicker about “and she’s buying a stairway to heaven…”<\/p>\n When we arrived we learned there was a problem (why is there always a problem?!). \u00a0The cemetery was running out of space. \u00a0We looked at the limited options and Hubby jokingly said it was kind of noisy, being right off the main street. \u00a0I laughed and reminded him we both grew up on main streets so it would be coming full circle.<\/p>\n In our community we can no longer be buried in ground. \u00a0Looking across the expanse I saw lots of empty space so I didn’t understand how there wasn’t much space left. \u00a0I was informed that many people didn’t have markers. \u00a0Lots of reasons for that – the cost, lack of planning, couldn’t decide, it aged and fell apart, and so on.<\/p>\n That made me really sad! \u00a0I recently did some client work and that was the case with the woman’s great grandma. \u00a0Buried between two of her children she was the only one with no marker. \u00a0The client was upset and said she was going to see that a marker was put up. \u00a0So I really wanted a marker<\/span><\/p>\n Originally published on genealogyatheart.blogspot.com on 3 Jul 2016. \u201cMemory has become a sacred duty of all people of goodwill.\u201d Elie Weisel Hubby and I went to the cemetery last week – not to check a record, take a picture for a memorial request or to honor an ancestor. \u00a0Instead, we went to check on space … Continue reading “No Headstone? Here’s Some Ideas”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[281,322,190,321],"class_list":["post-340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-archiving","tag-archiving","tag-burial","tag-death","tag-tombstone"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=340"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":341,"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/340\/revisions\/341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=340"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=340"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.genealogyatheart.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/span> Hubby and I went to the cemetery last week – not to check a record, take a picture for a memorial request or to honor an ancestor. \u00a0Instead, we went to check on space availability for what would become our final real estate purchase. \u00a0It was a very weird experience.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> We grew up with the Jackson 5, literally. \u00a0There are some historical moments that most Boomers claim to remember for the impact that it made on the world and to them personally \u00a0– where they were when the Kennedys and MLK was shot, the moon landing, and 9-11, for example, but one of the most pivotal moments to me was the death of Michael Jackson. \u00a0Seriously. \u00a0I grew up about a mile away from the Jackson family household in Gary, Indiana. \u00a0As a student council representative as a freshman in high school I was placed on a committee to select a band for an upcoming dance the organization would be sponsoring. That was how I first became involved with the Jacksons…<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> I am tone deaf – most people say they can’t carry a tune but for me it’s so bad that people ask my to stop singing \u00a0I can dance, though, and quite well. \u00a0So keep this in mind as I tell the tale….<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> The committee met one day after school to listen to 3 bands that had been narrowed down, I guess, from others that had expressed interest in playing the upcoming dance. \u00a0The Jacksons were one of those bands. \u00a0It was before they were famous. I’m not sure if Dianna Ross was dating Mayor Hatcher then. \u00a0Likely she hadn’t yet arranged for all those talented people to transform the Jackson family into – The Jacksons. \u00a0Michael was still too little, as was Janet, when the band auditioned. \u00a0I’m older then both of them. \u00a0The song they played was not danceable. \u00a0Very weird beat. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> I was not impressed with the Jackson’s performance and neither was the others on my committee. \u00a0Which says a lot about our ability to recognize talent or about how much practice (and the right coaching) makes perfect. \u00a0Either way, we selected another band. \u00a0Can’t remember their name, can’t even remember the dance very well but I remember the Jacksons because within a very short time after this they were everywhere. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> Gary’s previous favorite sons were Karl Malden (who had gone to high school with my uncle) and George Karras, who’s brother owned the house next door to us and who I price gouged once but that’s another story. \u00a0Oh, Gary was also famous for the dumb song from the Music Man that repeats “Gary, Indiana.” \u00a0 Gary was not known for music so your can imagine the city’s pride in the Jackson 5. \u00a0They performed a concert at Gleason Park, just 3 blocks from our home. \u00a0They sounded great that night.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> Like the Jacksons, my husband and I left Gary to follow our dreams elsewhere. \u00a0I haven’t been back there since 2001 when my mom passed. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> When Michael Jackson died I was on a bus with fellow educators on I 75 south of Tampa coming back from visiting a then brand new state of the art community college that had been built out in the sticks. \u00a0It had been a tiring day and we were being driven back to where we had all parked our cars so we could go home. \u00a0A counselor who was sitting a few rows up had gotten a phone call and I heard her exclaim, “Oh, no. That’s …” and her words trailed off. \u00a0I knew she had an elderly mom and assumed something had happened to her. \u00a0The woman ended the conversation, rose from her seat and half standing, announced, “Michael Jackson is dead.” \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> I couldn’t process this sentence. \u00a0How could he be dead? \u00a0He was younger than me. \u00a0Certainly my lifestyle was not as stressful nor did I make the life choices that he had but….. he was younger than me. \u00a0Certainly I had experienced in my lifetime the passing of those that were young – several fellow students, friends of the family, colleagues and neighbors’ children. \u00a0But Michael, well, he was bigger than life. \u00a0In my mind, he was permanently young and invincible. \u00a0My memory wasn’t of him after the numerous plastic surgeries. \u00a0I still remembered the little kid and I was stunned.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> I told my husband as soon as I returned home that afternoon. \u00a0I reached the conclusion, on the drive home that day, that our preparation for death needed to occur. \u00a0So we scheduled an appointment with our attorney the following day and had our wills updated. \u00a0That was as far as we got – didn’t think further than that.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> A few weeks ago I received a thick packet in the mail from a rural Indiana county. \u00a0I was delighted to examine the probate file of a couple I was writing about. \u00a0My delight soon turned to sadness as I read that the grown children had to come up with the money for the burial, repay the man’s debts and take in their mom, all due to the lack of planning on the couple’s part. \u00a0When the mom died several years later the kids again had to put their money together to make sure the burial was paid.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> I don’t want that to be me. \u00a0Hubby and I discussed it and decided that he, too, was going to donate his body to science. \u00a0I’ve previously written about that so check out my blog Death and the Genealogist<\/a>\u00a0from 23 June. \u00a0He wants his cremains returned so that’s how we ended up at the cemetery last week. \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span> Burial is big business and expensive. \u00a0I am thrifty. \u00a0We reached our decision of where to be buried based on\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n
\n<\/span> The cemetery employee said we could order the brass plaque now and they’d put the final dates, included in the price, on it later. \u00a0We sat in an office and looked at insignias to add to personalize the plaque and wasn’t real impressed. \u00a0Discovered my real first name, with my maiden and last name, is too long for the plaque so had to go with initial of my maiden name. \u00a0Can only put the year of birth and death and no relationship to each other. \u00a0Wow, so much for helping out a genealogist in the future. \u00a0I will be leaving in the cemetery file copies of our birth and marriage certificates and the obits for our parents so at the very least, if requested, the future inquirer will have a start of a paper trail. \u00a0Check to see if that’s available when you do your planning.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span> Yesterday, hubby and son were building a brick bbq grill in our backyard. \u00a0He had laid the cement foundation a long while ago but had never gotten around to finishing the project. Last night, he remarked about an idea that came to him when he was building. \u00a0I have to admit this is quite humorous to see how one’s mind works but here is the trail…. Building the bbq grill reminded him of my family stories about my grandmother’s house that had a bbq grill just like the one he was working on. \u00a0That led to him thinking about my mom who loved helping us with around the house projects and who would have loved to know that the crematorium had sent us a rebate after death because she had over paid. \u00a0That made him think about the cemetery we had just selected and the people who had no stones and why couldn’t inexpensive “stones” be used. \u00a0He recalled laying the cement for the bbq and he figured, if he could do it, anyone could and a cemetery base could be prefab and easy to install, too. \u00a0Always looking to recycle, why can’t someone use excess countertops, like Corian, and engrave the deceased’s name and dates, then affix it to the cement base? \u00a0I dunno! \u00a0Why can’t they? \u00a0Probably because there’s no money in it! \u00a0All I know is that as difficult and strange is the experience to select one’s final resting place for us, it’s done and we can happily live the rest of our lives knowing we planned til the end. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n
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